The How-To trap
For the past three years, I’ve been guzzling down every form of “HOW TO” advice. How to be a business owner. How to be a better cook. How to be a good listener. How to be a great parent. How to ask for more money. How to design optimal. How to turn ideas into solutions that really solve problems. How to work deeper. How to think clearer. How to set goals. How to achieve goals. How to devise strategies. How to position yourself. How to be successful. How to manage finances. How to live to the fullest. How to make time. How to relax. The list is never-ending. Podcasts, blogs, newsletters, books, social media, videos…
A ceaseless stream of How To.
One evening whilst setting up the computer to listen to yet another How To podcast while preparing dinner, I clicked on the wrong thing and the 50-smokes-a-day voice of Tom Waits rumbled through the little speaker.
I slid down the cupboard and melt on the floor with an onion and spatula in my hand. I didn’t learn How To Hack Life that evening. I didn’t even cook the balanced meal as I set out to do. We didn’t eat on time as was the goal. My son went to bed very late. I didn’t finish my work that evening as planned. I listened to Tom Waits sanding down the notes with poetry and eroded nostalgia.
My autopilot screeched to a halt. The tick boxes went unticked. My 1%-better-habits-a-day had to sleep outside that night. The rigid track I placed myself in to be able to cope, keep upright, be responsible, keep us alive and get things done had a huge pothole at the end and I enjoyed the free-fall down to nowhere.
Spontaneity. Freedom. Impulse. Openness. Soul.
There is no How To for that. We are born with it. We simply need to find it again. Especially when the carpet needs a haircut and the piano is as drunk as a skunk again.
A ceaseless stream of How To.
One evening whilst setting up the computer to listen to yet another How To podcast while preparing dinner, I clicked on the wrong thing and the 50-smokes-a-day voice of Tom Waits rumbled through the little speaker.
“The piano has been drinking, my necktie is asleepMy whole being shift from How To Hack Life to “my necktie is asleep”.
And the combo went back to new york, the jukebox has to take a leak
And the carpet needs a haircut, and the spotlight looks like a prison break
And the telephone's out of cigarettes, and the balcony is on the make
And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking…”
I slid down the cupboard and melt on the floor with an onion and spatula in my hand. I didn’t learn How To Hack Life that evening. I didn’t even cook the balanced meal as I set out to do. We didn’t eat on time as was the goal. My son went to bed very late. I didn’t finish my work that evening as planned. I listened to Tom Waits sanding down the notes with poetry and eroded nostalgia.
My autopilot screeched to a halt. The tick boxes went unticked. My 1%-better-habits-a-day had to sleep outside that night. The rigid track I placed myself in to be able to cope, keep upright, be responsible, keep us alive and get things done had a huge pothole at the end and I enjoyed the free-fall down to nowhere.
Spontaneity. Freedom. Impulse. Openness. Soul.
There is no How To for that. We are born with it. We simply need to find it again. Especially when the carpet needs a haircut and the piano is as drunk as a skunk again.
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