In traction we trust

It feels like swimming in jelly. There is almost traction, but not really. One can very nearly move forward, but there is too much density. We're almost drowning but not quite.

It's terrifying. Nobody knows how to navigate through all this shit. We beat ourselves up for being devastated over the worldwide pandemic. We try to level things out. Find different ways of coping. All in our nature to do so, that is how we survive. But everything is happening in such a condensed timeframe and at such a speed that it is virtually impossible to stand still and let it sink in. Our fast-paced world demands that we keep on running without legs. 

Just because a few people manage to cope doesn't mean that everybody else is simply too weak to do the same. 

So much confusion. Too many variables. We cannot seem to categorise ourselves into boxes of who is going to live or die. We are all going to end up in the die box eventually, but in our minds, that is still very far off in the future. Now it is very real and causes considerable amounts of anxiety. There is no corner on earth we can escape to. 

The internal struggle to survive our psyche above and beyond anything else becomes a hindrance to overcome each day. The stories we tell ourselves. The outcomes we expect but not see.

Like walking through a minefield. Do you walk through with acceptance, your next step might be your last? Do you hold that there is nothing ahead, just what is in front of you? Do you stand absolutely still because this very moment you know you are safe? Do you break into a run and simply take your chances?

We get stuck in this minefield because this is not what we envisioned for ourselves. 

Making it worse, it seems the whole world is lost. We feel misplaced. We are unhappy.

Viktor E. Frankl explains in his book, Man's Search for Meaning, how people find their deepest, most hidden selves in the darkest times in their lives. Finding purpose in devastating circumstances by being able to respond authentically and with deep compassion. Finding happiness by serving it to others*. 

Dan Gilbert, a Havard Psychologist and author of "Stumbling on Happiness", delivers a delightful TED talk explaining that we can synthesize happiness for ourselves. "Our "psychological immune system" lets us feel truly happy even when things don't go as planned." (TED Feb 2004). 

We can override our own system. 

Maybe this is a kick in the pants to wake up and observe the world and ourselves from a different angle. To live life deeply. 

Finding traction and carry ourselves through uncertainty. 

Finding lost pieces in each other. Experiencing true compassion. Questioning old ways of thinking and doing. Making small changes to breathe easier. Waking up every morning and decide anew to be kinder, softer, more forgiving towards ourselves, to others. 

Sinking or swimming, both are an outcome. 

We will all walk out of this a little different. It's not good. It's not bad. It just is. 

* Read here for a write up on Viktor E. Frankl's book, Man's search for meaning, by Maria Popova